


A Very Bland Slumber Party

by genericfanatic



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Thank you fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 09:20:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11666226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Lance and Hunk have a surprise for everyone they want to show off.Another 'thank you' fic for getting 500 FOLLOWERS on my side-blog, 'blandvoltronheadcanons'





	A Very Bland Slumber Party

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [lustdemonlaz](http://lustdemonlaz.tumblr.com/), [yellowmagicalgirl](yellowmagicalgirl.tumblr.com), [shadowelisebridger](shadowelisebridger.tumblr.com), [karimeinu](karimeinu.tumblr.com), [foofoocuddlypoopsgavesokkaapples](foofoocuddlypoopsgavesokkaapples.tumblr.com), and all the amazing anons that contributed to all FORTY TWO headcanons presented in this fic!
> 
> See these headcanons at [blandvoltronheadcanons](blandvoltronheadcanons.tumblr.com) and more, or read the rules and submit your OWN headcanons!

“I’m so confused…” Pidge said, eyes only half open, hair a mess, and voice still croaky with sleep.

“I told you,” Lance said, keeping his voice calm so as not to startle the half-awake Pidge, “it’s a surprise slumber party, now wake up!”

“No, no, I get that,” She said rubbing her eye with the palm of her hand to try and wake up more. “I’m confused of why Kaltenecker’s here.”

Both Paladins turned to the cow, who was asleep in loaf-form, putting quite a dent in Pidge’s bed, one hoof lazily draped over Pidge’s waist.

“She likes to cuddle,” Lance answered, picking up the hoof in order to extract Pidge and put a pillow in her place, “Now come on! Hunk’s getting Allura and Coran, its our job to get Shiro and Keith next.”

Pidge reluctantly followed him over to Shiro’s room. Lance knocked. “Come in,” they heard. 

Entering, they noted Shiro was not resting comfortably in his bed, but rather had a towel around his neck, water dripping from his hair, and lotion across his nose and cheek. “Were you…showering?” Lance asked, “At this hour?”

“Uh…” Shiro muttered, “…yes?”

“Is this what you do all night?” Pidge asked of him. “Hygiene stuff?”

“Uhhhhhhh……” he muttered, already answering their question “…no?”

Pidge and Lance exchanged exasperated looks. Pidge shrugged, “No wonder his fade continues to look like that.”

“But what are you putting on your scar?” Lance asked. 

“Scar? What scar?” Shiro asked. Lance pointed at the bridge of his nose. “That’s a sunburn, Lance. I’ve been putting Aloe on it, but it won’t fade.”

Lance stared in shock, his world crashing down around him, but then shook his head, reminding himself why he was here, “Well, instead of not-sleeping here, why don’t you not-sleep with the rest of us? Hunk and I are planning a surprise, and we just have to wake up Keith.

Shiro, still caught off guard said, “…ok.”

After Shiro dried off a bit, Lance tiptoed over to Keith’s door, Pidge and Shiro trailing him. He gently tried to slide the door so it wouldn’t make any noise, “What are you doing?” Pidge asked.

“Shh!” Lance scolded her. “I don’t wanna wake him up.”

“I thought that’s what we were here to do?” Shiro asked, confused.

Pidge caught on before Shiro did. “You just want to prove to us he purrs in his sleep.”

“He does!” Lance whisper shouted, “I’ve seen it! Or heard it, whatever.”

“Well, yeah,” Shiro said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “of course he does. All Galras purr.” Lance stared at him open mouthed. “Have you not been reading the informational records we’ve been getting from the Blade of Marmora?”

“Uhhh….” Lance said awkwardly backing into Keith’s room and out of this conversation. “Hey, wait a sec, he’s not in here!” Shiro and Pidge poked their heads in to see a completely empty room.

“Dammit,” Shiro said, “I told him he couldn’t be training when he’s supposed to be sleeping!” 

“You mean like you were showering when you were supposed to be sleeping?” Pidge chastised. 

“This is completely different,” Shiro said, “Besides, I even put his weapons on lockdown unless there’s an emergency. What the heck.”

“Well, we still have to go get him,” Lance said, leading the way to the training deck, “Come on,” 

They intercepted Hunk leading Coran and a clearly sleepy Allura in the hallway. “We have to get Keith from the training room,” Lance explained, “Because apparently he doesn’t sleep.”

Hunk looked over his shoulder. “Coran wasn’t asleep when I went to get him either.”

“I was!” Coran protested, “And then…later I wasn’t. You try sleeping when you have a recurring nightmare that a vague Alteanoid shape is coming for your mustache!”

No one really had a response to that, so they continued up to the training deck. 

When the doors slid open they found Keith was not, in fact training, but actually…dancing. 

Ballet dancing. 

Low classical was playing out of Pidge’s music player as Keith followed the steps perfectly, his flexible limbs meticulously performing the difficult steps. 

The other paladins stood agape, watching him move fluidly, until Keith did a particularly high kick where his foot went directly above his head, and they could no longer hold in their amazement, simultaneously letting out a low “ooooh.”

The noise sent Keith off his game, “Fuck!” he shouted, dropping to the ground and scurrying to turn off the music. “How much of that did you guys see?”

“Language,” Shiro reminded him, “And not much, but that was really good!”

Keith shrunk into his shoulders, “Really?”

“Dude, that was awesome!” Hunk said as Pidge and Lance cheered.

“Curious,” Allura said, “It’s very close to an Altean dance. What is it?”

“Uhh….Ballet,” Keith said, “I took lessons as a kid. Shiro took my weapons, so I figured I could try out one of my old routines.”

“That’s so cool!” Pidge said, “I used to do jazz dance.”

“That’s exactly the kind of thing that tonight’s slumber party is all about!” Lance said happily, summoning Keith closer.

“Dancing?” Keith asked.

“No, no. Not Ballet. Sharing things. About our past! Come on!” 

Lance and Hunk led the rest of them down to the common area, where the pillows had been stripped from the couches and made into a strange nest for them all to sit in. “Lance…” Allura said hesitantly, “This isn’t…a dirty thing, is it?”

“Hmm?” Lance said, distracted. “Oh! No, nonononono,” remembering the unfortunate incident he’d told an…indecent and human specific joke. Allura insisted he explain, and she hadn’t been able to face him all day. “No, this is a totally innocent slumber party to like, make memories in space.”

Allura nodded, reassured. 

“Keith,” Shiro said, nodding over to the swear jars on the counter. 

“Aw, really?” Keith said, “we’re still enforcing that?” Shiro stared him down until he put a GAC into the jar.

“We’ll need a seventh jar soon,” Pidge muttered, flopping onto the pillows.

Hunk and Lance emerged from the kitchen, dishes in hand. “Aaand because I can’t resist the pun, we’ll be starting out our snacks tonight with some Coran couronne.” He put the pastry down for them all. Coran gave him a wink.

“For our carnivorous guests, we have a meat-i-tarian option,” Hunk added, handing Keith a plate of meat.

“Thanks,” Keith said, taking it. He had been eating much better since the Blade told them Galra couldn’t digest non-meat well.

“This is amazing, guys,” Shiro said, looking at the spread Lance and Hunk had laid out. “What’s the occasion?”s

“Part stress relief,” Lance said, “Part celebration! Hunk and I just finished our first book!”

“Book?” Pidge asked incredulous, “since when do you two write?”

“We don’t,” Hunk said, “But we’ve been working on this since the Garrison, and have been touching it up ever since. Presenting an original McClain and Garrett work: LEGendary memories!”

Hunk pulled out a scrapbook with a picture of Lance and Hunk on it. 

“A scrapbook?” Coran asked, confused, “what is it?”

“Its full of pictures and tokens and stuff from all our time together!” Lance said, “We thought it’d be fun to go over it and share our memories and stuff.”

Allura smiled warmly, “That sounds like a wonderful idea!” Lance and Hunk beamed at her praise, “Lets get to remembering!”

 

Lance and Hunk settled down opening the book. The first several pages were just them. “Lance.” Shiro said very seriously, “Why aren’t you wearing pants in this picture?”

Hunk chuckled, “He forgot them.”

Lance shrugged, “I got used to walking around my house in boxers in Florida. Hunk usually managed to remind me before I did anything. Usually.”

Pidge snorted, “Why in the Universe did you include THAT memory in the scrapbook?”

Lance looked down on her, smug grin on his face, and she already regretted the question. “Because my legs are MEMORABLE.”

Pidge, Hunk, Shiro, and Allura all groaned. Keith was still looking through the photos. “That is one huge bulge,” he said. The other 6 turned to him in various states of surprise, confusion, and horror. “on the backpack there.” 

He pointed at another picture, this one of Hunk helping Lance with his backpack, that was nearly twice the size of his torso. “Oh, right, that,” Lance said, as everyone else pulled their minds out of the gutter, “I liked to come prepared with supplies. You know, wipes, snacks, water, phone chargers, stuff like that. It was good to have on hand around my siblings.”

“You are such a mother hen,” Hunk said, ruffling his friends hair. 

“Hey! I don’t do that anymore!”

“Yeah, now you hold everything in your lion,” Coran said. The others chuckled at that. 

Lance, embarrassed, turned the page. Pidge perked up, “Ooh, is that Hunk’s peanut butter cookie recipe?”

“It is indeed,” Hunk said proudly, “Shame I still can’t find the ingredients to make it out here.”

“Why’s a recipe in a scrapbook?” Shiro asked, “Just out of curiosity.”

“Because Hunk’s cookies ARE memories,” Pidge said, “Their magic.”

“They’re what got Pidge to finally be friends with us.” Lance said, “She cried.” Pidge smacked him on the arm. “OW! What, you did, it freaked us out.”

“I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, okay?” Pidge said, “Most of my hobbies were solitary. Photography, stop-motion animation with these little ball jointed dolls…”

“Oh, those were yours?” Shiro asked, “Matt made me stay in a room full of them when I visited. I think he made them move to freak me out.” 

They all snorted at that mental image.

“Seriously, though,” Pidge said, “Hunk’s cookies are worth crying over. His cooking was so good, they were basically currency at the Garrison.”

Lance nodded, proudly. “The three of us were rich.”

They flipped the pages again. “You play the piano?” Keith asked, incredulous at the photo of Lance at the keys.

“Oh, yeah,” He said, “My sister played guitar, so she made me learn to accompany her.”

Keith blinked surprised, “Well…I have a guitar. [The one I got for Space Christmas](http://archiveofourown.org/works/11204061).”

“Huh…” Lance said, thinking, “We should play together at some point.” He grinned, “We can take our space band on the road after the war!”

Keith chuckled at the idea, “Sounds cool.”

Pidge looked up at Shiro, “Since we did Space Christmas, can we have a Space Hannukah next?”

“Your Jewish, Pidge?” Hunk asked. Pidge nodded. “I thought Hannukah wasn’t actually one of the major Jewish holidays.”

“Shhh,” She hushed him. 

“Jewish…what does that mean?” Coran asked. 

“Uhh….” Shiro said, “did you have religions on Altea?” Allura and Coran shook their heads. “Ooookay. That’s more than a couple minute conversation. But…there are different religions on Earth, one is Judaism, which Pidge and her family are. Another is Christianity, and that celebrates Christmas. But they’re both about celebrating God and stuff,” He flinched at his terrible explanation. 

“Oh!” Allura said, “Like in the song ‘God Help the Outcasts,’ right?”

The other four paladins exchanged confused and suspicious glances, “You know that song?”

Allura nodded, “Shiro sang it for me, its beautiful. You should share more of Earth’s songs.”

They turned their gaze to Shiro. He smirked, nervous. “Shiro can sing?” Lance said. 

“Not surprised,” Keith said, “He can imitate Gollum perfectly.”

“Really?” Hunk asked.

“Really,” Squeaked Shiro in a voice that would make Andy Serkis proud. 

The humans (and part humans) burst out laughing at that. Allura and Coran were a bit confused at the reference but laughed at the strange voice.

As the laughter started to fade, Lance turned the page again, “Oh, look, Shiro’s in this one.” The picture was of Hunk walking into a room with Shiro in his grey pilots uniform on the other side of the door, his eyes crossed and falling over. 

“Oh, god, I remember that day,” Shiro said, “That was you that opened the door, Hunk? That knocked me out cold!”

“You were knocked out?!” Hunk said, horrified, “I’m-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

“It’s alright,” Shiro said, reassuring him. “I actually got a pretty decent rest after that.”

“Maybe you should do it again,” Lance suggested, “Seeing as his accidental trips to the healing pods seem to be the only time he rests.” 

Shiro giggled awkwardly. “Accidental, right.”

Keith was not fooled, “Why’d you say it like that?”

“Like what,”

“Like that!” Keith said, frowning, “Like it wasn’t accidental.”

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you. Honestly, its good for me to be in the pods, I remember more stuff, like Ulaz! You remember him, he was actually a doctor. That’s why he was such a good Blade. Although, I did bite him once, felt bad about that, apparently it was the worst scar I ever gave him, which was rather impressive…” Keith raised an eyebrow at him as he continued to avoid the topic at hand. “Did…did you know the Galra thought Humans lived in Kerberos for a while? ‘Cause that’s where they found us? Cause that’s something I remembered being in that pod, and—“

“He sometimes trips over things on purpose to use the pod so he can avoid you two arguing,” Pidge answered. 

Shiro gaped at her, while Keith and Lance gaped at Shiro. “Pidge! What the hell!”

“Bet you regret not letting me get that alien puppy now, don’t you?” Pidge asked. 

Shiro blatantly avoided the glares of Keith and Lance, who were about ready to argue with him. “Which puppy?”

“Any puppy!” Pidge demanded, “I miss my dog, Shiro. Naming my robot Rover after him just doesn’t cover it.”

Shiro swallowed, feeling very cornered, “I thought Matt said your dog was named Gunther.”

“Gunther was the family dog,” Pidge said, “I called him Bae Bae. But Rover was mine.”

“How’d you get ‘Bae-Bae’ from ‘Gunther’” Hunk asked.

“When I was a kid, Mom said I couldn’t squeeze him cause he was just a baby. Thus, Bae Bae.”

“Look,” Shiro said in his natural state of suffering, “I hate being the ‘no’ guy. I had a dog too, and I don’t even know what happened to him.”

“Oh, your dog’s fine,” Keith said, “Or, he was last time I was on Earth.”

Shiro blinked in shock, “He…he was old,” Shiro said, “And he got cancer when I was in space. I assumed he…” He let the sentence fade out.

“He got over that,” Keith said. “Well, it came back, and he got hit by a car…” Keith stopped talking as he realized this didn’t sound reassuring, “And…some other stuff…but he survived! I always said he was uh…waiting to see you again.”

Shiro looked on the brink of tears. Lance cleared his throat, trying to switch the tone. “So…you knew Shiro’s dog?”

Keith nodded, “Shiro’s parents used to be my foster parents. Before they…” he let his sentence die out again, “Uh, anyway, they were really nice.”

Shiro smirked, swallowing his tears, “I remember telling Keith he couldn’t be a magical alien ninja when he grew up.”

“And don’t you feel like you owe me an apology, now?” Keith asked, and they all laughed.

“Well,” Shiro chuckled, “I am sorry, then. Though I always thought the alien part would be from your Dad’s side.”

“You knew your Dad was Galra???” Hunk asked, incredulous.

Keith shook his head. “Terrestrial alien. His dad was a Korean immigrant. Thus, alien.”

“That’s part of why my parents liked Keith,” Shiro said, “They were immigrants too. Mom from Brazil, Dad from Japan.” 

“Huh,” Pidge said, “So…you’re mom was the Galra? Or, part Galra?”

“Actually, they might not have been my mom,” Keith said, “Well, like…they would have been my parent, obviously, but I’ve been talking to Kolivan. Apparently Galra only have one biological sex. Most mix-species identify as neutrois or agender. So, like, my other parent might not have been, like, a mother.”

“’Most,’” Hunk quoted, “There are other mix-galra species?”

“Actually, there’s a lot, according to Kolivan,” Keith said, “It’s become pretty commonplace. That’s why they didn’t question it as much considering I look, you know, not-purple.”

A round of ‘Huh’s went around. “So,” Lance said, “Which mix-species grows a mullet?”

Keith scowled at them. “It just grows like that, okay?” He said, carefully tucking it behind his ears, “It’s not like I do anything with it or anything.” Shiro smirked at him, knowing exactly how much he cared for his mullet, “You shush,” Keith demanded of him. Shiro raised his hands in surrender. 

“I feel like I should make a journal of all the things we’re learning about aliens,” Pidge said, “It’s what my Dad and Brother would do. Just all the mating habits and reproduction and stuff. Like, did you know Olkari age twice as fast as Humans until they reach maturity? After about 9 human years, they slow down, and the rate matches a human’s.”

“Oh yes,” Coran said, “It’s quite disorienting when you have a young Olkari and young Altean talking, and they look the same age, but the Altean is 5 times their age. Quite disorienting indeed.” He chuckled to himself, remembering a long forgotten story. “Of course, Alteans have our own customs. We were traditionally a polyamorous race…” His face fell just a tad, “I myself had four mates on Altea. Before…”

He let his sentence die out as well, and the tone shifted to uncomfortably sad yet again.

Lance turned the page of the scrapbook, “Oh look, we’ve gotten to the space portion now. Look at our wonderful tokens from our many, many visits to the Space Mall. Here’s a trading card we found of Shiro!”

“Oh, yeah,” Shiro said, looking at it, “from my days as a gladiator…”

The tone did not successfully lighten.

Lance shut the scrapbook, “You know what, maybe its time to take a break from the scrapbook. Keith, why don’t you grab your guitar, lets get some music going.”

“Awww, Lance,” Pidge said, “You know if we play any music, its gonna get stuck in one of our heads, and then it’ll go to our lions and through the connection between us, and then its gonna be in ALL our heads. For days.”

“Shush you,” Lance said, “Now, I’m feeling Bohemian Rhapsody, how about you guys?”

“Uh,” Keith said, coming back with the guitar, “Not sure I know that one well, so maybe—“

“Is this the real life?” Lance sang over him, “Is this just fantasy? Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.”

Keith sighed, playing the chords, even as he rolled his eyes. “Open your eyes,” Hunk picked up for him, “Look up to the skies and seeeeeeee.”

Shiro and Pidge burst in with “I’m just a poor boy,” Lance echoed, “poor boy” even as they went into, “I need no sympathy, because I’m”

“Easy come,” All four whispered, “Easy go,”

“Little high,” Lance and Pidge said.

“Little low,” Hunk and Shiro said.

“Any way the wind blows,” Lance burst out as the other three echoed him, “Doesn’t really matter to meeeeee,”

Lance pointed at Keith who sighed and sang, “To meeeeeee,”

They all laughed and kept the song going, teaching Allura and Coran all the parts as they went.

 

They never did get back to the scrapbook that night, but that was alright. The selfie Lance took with all of them singing at the slumber party was the first picture in the new scrapbook.


End file.
